Life after Lasik !

Got some new pair of eyes … well almost! Not been even a week since I got my Femto lasik! It did cost heavy but feels better after getting rid of the contacts and glasses! Have been a persistent wearer of glasses from the age of 5 and contacts since couple of years! Carrying the case and the solution, safely removing and putting on the lenses were a hassle! Now I feel far relieved! But vision aint clear yet! Thanks to dry eyes as a result of my longtime contact wearing – that’s what the dr says atleast!

Hope to see the world clearly – again! 

Thanks to 'a far distant howl'

What is the difference
Between your experience of Existence
And that of a saint?

The saint knows 
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God 

And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move 

That the saint is now continually 
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter
And saying, "I surrender!" 

Whereas, my dear, 
I am afraid you still think 
You have a thousand serious moves.
~ Hafiz about 1320-1389

Ekam sarvam!

Tvameva Mata cha Pita Tvameva, 
Tvameva Bandhu cha Sakha Tvameva, 
Tvameva Vidya Dravinam Tvameva, 
Tvameva Sarvam Mama Deva Deva.

----------------------------------------

Tvameva Mata: You are my Mother, the Supreme One Without a Second, Who nourishes me with Divine Love and graces my life with Self-Respect (the perception of my self as the Soul-Self, and not just as a body, mind, intellect, or ego).

Cha Pita Tvameva: And you are my Father, the Supreme Being Who protects me by raising my consciousness and transforming my mind into a receptacle of the divine; Who instills in me the sterling qualities of Divine Consciousness.

Tvameva Bandu cha Sakha Tvameva: You are my True Relative with Whom I am eternally related as Atman (Soul-self) with Paramatman (the Supreme Self), and You are my Best Friend, my Eternal Companion and Dearest Confident Who will never leave me.

Tvameva Vidya: You are the Divine Wisdom, the Essence of everything I know, everything I am learning, and everything I do not know but seek to understand and realize (actualize).

Dravinam Tvameva: You are the Highest Wealth (Laxmi) and the Bestower of all the best things in this life and the next. You are the Source of everything good and the Bestower of all Resources we require for our physical sustenance and spiritual enlightenment.  You are the Wealth of Wisdom and the Gift of Liberation (Moksha).

Tvameva Sarvam Mama Deva Deva:  You are All-in-All; You are Everything to me, You are the core of my being, the Heart of my heart, the Source of my Self, the Soul of my soul, the Ultimate Reality devoid of duality and partiality; Indivisible, Immutable, Immaculate, the Ultimate Knower and the Absolute Perfect Incomparable Supreme Being.  

OM TAT SAT

A semitramp exposed

Dismayed! disappointed! Looks like i can never get out of this perpetual inconsistent behavior of mine!

Its been days since i updated my blog! Though i write nothing serious or useful, i always wanted to write my experiences...as my sweet freind rauf used to say" record things neeru...start a journal.....it really helps!!"

When i first met my husband little less than a year ago, I told him i love to blog. He asked me..."u mean like an online diary?". I said "yes..something like that" ...He asks again.."so.you write about your personal things too? ..like this meeting of ours?"...I dint have any particular answer but immediately gave a big no cos i knew he is not "that" kind of a person who does such things! :) As months passed i understood how much a secretive person he is..meaning "sharing things on a need to know basis". Quite a new concept for me! :D Im such a loquacious pig that i buckbuck everything to anyone ! Pretty dangerous huh??!!

Though i have relentlessly caught up with my "Duties" (god forgive) as a new housewife and a daughterinlaw (loved by everyone - they say!) i always wanted to get back to writing! Now i dont find time (i hate this phrase believe me) as im now an officegoer, i althemore have to squeeze in things that i wish to do! 

Still, i dont get time for my guitar, my tiny winy escapes to the woods, for my freinds, for my blogs, for my photography pursuits, for my painting classes and i know for sure also for my yet-to-be-joined sanskrit classes! 

enthusiasm persists! consistency kilss itself after couple of weeks! (thats huge a time for someone like me). My husband prays i dont feel bored of him like i get bored with other things that i did in the past!(God knows :D). getting bored? No ... i dont agree to that! im ofcourse unfocussed! but given the proper self-drive i can accomplich things! Thats what i need to develop at this stage for i know this is gonna help me a long way!

If nothing else in my life...i can never forget the wonderful stay i had in europe for my studies where i had such exciting travels, wonderful freinds and above all, an inner journey! It did teach me lessons. Some i retain, some i would love to forget cos it aint helping me anymore! 

When somebody asks hows life.. the best word i can ever find is "ohhh its a roller coaster" you never know how fast/ slow its gonna take you and whats beyond the bend! LIFE CAN BE TOTALLY SURPRISING! TOTALLY!!!

Time is flying! already 6 months since i finished my course. My freinds are doing various kinds of things..some got married like me..some do their phd, some searching for their dream jobs and some already in some job they can get hold of. Wonderful memories cloud my mind when i think of the past couple of years. Several things have changed. Encountered many experiences that i thought i would never be able to do...Some helping hand guided me! I underwent certain changes..some of which its nice to retain, some of which im planning to discard. In the process I discovered a "new" me. Still i am! :) Thats the beauty! For all that nature has given, im truly grateful ;) Our Master is a perfect planner and executor! Hail master! Hail life :)

SILENCE FOR SOMETIME

LIFE IS THE BEST LIVEJOURNAL EVER POSSIBLE :D...MY ATTEMPTS TO WRITE ANY JOURNAL IS AN UTTER WASTE AND NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT 'THAT' HAS WRITTEN!
PERRRRRRRRRRRRFEEEEEEEEECTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No place for your Mr mind..Thinking of Self immolation? Please do it!

How intricate are you!!! Puts me to awe everytime but at the same time just as a bird caught in a golden cage, I dont think ur smartness will be of any use to me. Why do you think you are too smart? Do you think you are everything? Do you think you can outlaw every divine rule laid out here and capture the realms of nature in  your palms and find eternal freedom in that. Freedom is what this self needs from YOU. you cannot free you unless and until you surrender. Remember that. Surrender O mind. Thats the path to your salvation. As HE quoted...1000 years of darkness is expelled by a lamp in a second...im waiting for that day when the darkness of  your ignorance is expelled by eternal gyana. My masters grace is with me. YOU cannot withstand that. Do you think you can rock the bottom of my foundation and plant your poisonous seeds in me? Before you even think of it, before you even act for it.. My masters nama will help in safeguarding His child from you. better you succumb to his namas, chant it constantly and only then you will find peace. Remember that there is no peace whatsoever possible in this earth without the search for THAT. Im HIS little child. Im just born. Leave me like this. I would like to remain a child. Sans the reminiscences of hatred, jealousy, possessiveness and bondages. I wish to be away from lust, desire and passions. Leave me alone for I wish to concentrate on that path which will lead me to HIM. which will lead me to my Glorious Father - SHIVA...my father is waiting to engulf me in his arms. He is waiting. He is waiting. He loves me so do this self. This self wants to be one with him .. once and for all. Please realise it. KNOW it. deeper and deeper. As deep as you can get. As far as you can go. One pointed. Sincere. Focussed. By just being yourself. No nothing. Just yourself. later dissolve this. this everything. Feel the oneness with Him. he you this world his creation thousand galaxies million stars is ONE. Feel it. Yearn for that eternal gyana. Have that thirst. No longer waste time in this delirious emotions and sufferings. There is no time for that. Pursue your true abode. thats where is the essential. Others are mortal and immaterial. Take His nama and imbibe it in your breath.

CHIDANANDA ROOPAM SHIVOHAM SHIVOHAM ...

Bhaja Govindam Bhaja Govindam Govindam Bhaja Moodamate

“Sat Sangatvae nissangatvam
Nissangatva Nirmohatvam
Nirmohatvae Nishchala tatvam
Nishchala tatvae Jivan Mukthihi”


                                                       -- Shri Adishankarar

Life is getting busier. This is what I wanted! A BUSYYYYYYYYYYY LIFE! A Survey says busy bees are the most happiest on earth. Well I don't know if its really true, but im happy anyways! Getting Busy is nice.

I hate the traffic in the mornings though. Something I don't like during the day. If only i could somehow squeeze in sometime for my journals and guitar, that would be great. I still get some time for my guitar in the weekends but I want to make it something daily. I want to rush through the lessons. It aint good if I don't practice every day. I can see im learning fast but if I practice every day I would learn faster! For sure! My dream is soon to be true!

Jun has gone for the cricket tournament. Grabbed my D40 on the go! Ofcourse with the new attractive 70-300mm. Rauf says a telezoom not needed for shooting cricket matches. Quite eager to see how the pictures come out.

Lets see.

Last day at ITC

Wow~ ! what was that ! a roller coaster for 9 months! Can never forget the "holland" days. Soon its gonna come to an end and a new life awaits ahead! Though to say life has now added more passion to my life :) How thrilling!

While i still need to wrap up the last few paragraphs of my thesis(that i slogged for months to get results) is now kept aside for few minutes..! why? cos i wish to express my deeepest of desires...my next moves in the coming months! Surely a housewife for next 6 months until i get hooked up with a job or higher studies. Until then im sure  there is gonna be loads of time availabe for me to grab and do those things that i always wanted to do..like?  Top 10 reads as below...

1) Study tamil literature and grammar (understand the sangam kind)
2) Enroll for sanskrit lessons
3) Learn to sing the gems of songs by annamayya and sadasiva brahmendrar
4) Guitar lessons ( new guitar shining in a corner)
5) Continue yoga and pranayama
6) Work under a photographer (have already started working towards it)
7) Read some great written works  (with permission from Him...also His books)
8) Improve acrylic painting! Learn more shading techniques
9) Try to solve Rubix cube
10) star gazing! refresh basics ...

Thoroughly excited! CHENNAI HERE I COME!

My Jung test reults - ENFP

Extroverted (E) 52.38% Introverted (I) 47.62%
Intuitive (N) 60% Sensing (S) 40%
Feeling (F) 63.89% Thinking (T) 36.11%
Perceiving (P) 58.14% Judging (J) 41.86%

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Something for my husband..

blue white black and green
for peace joy and prosperity
then comes pink and yellow
may His grace and light bestow
upon you and all
lets share love and life
for years to come..!

Thankyou Adithi Akka !! :)

This song(click on the title) resung by her and Vishak, is one of my most favourites of ilayaraja!
It gives me great pleasure to share it here with you all, a lovely song sung by a lovely person!

Adithi ka....Im your bigggggggggggg fannnnnn!!!

Peace and love always
Neeru

கேட்டதில் பிடித்தது

பூங்குயில் கூவும் பூஞ்சோலையில் ஒரு நாள்... மாமயில் மீதே மாயமாய் வந்தான்... பொன் முகம் அதனில் புன்னகை பொங்க... இன்னமுத்தென்ன இம்மொழி பதிந்தொரு மின்னலை போலே மறைந்தான்...! --- (பூங்குயில்) பனிமலர் அதனில் புது மணம் கண்டேன்... வானில் கடலில் வண்ணங்கள் கண்டேன்... தேனிசை வீணையில் தீஞ்சுவை கண்டேன்... தனிமயில் இனிமை கண்டேன்...! --- (பூங்குயில்)

----------- Courtesy - திரு கல்கி கிரீஷ்னமூர்த்தி அவர்கள்

Im Back!

Its been long since i came to this space! life has been busy..not just busy but keeping me high with happiness and joy since 3 months! celebrations, family and new poeple into my life! not just new but those whom with im gonna start a new journey esp my soulmate, my husband! so here i am, in a new turn of life.

back to holland, 4th of jan 2010...married 20 days back..! no wonder i miss him! but then i have something important to do too. wrap up my thesis!! Holland has been really cold! after an adevnterous, tiresome journey from dusseldorf(where i landed) to enschede that night at a freezing temperature of -8 im here sitting in my room writing pages for my thesis! reserch gets complicated when you dont give it enough time! true that i dont have much time left but heres me waiting to give my best shot!

have to sqauke more! Will come back soon!

Inshah allah!